Today’s topic affects many relationships. Why Does My Partner Continually Walk Away During Our Disagreements?
What boundaries should be set when your partner leaves the room during an argument?
There are many ways to handle disagreements, but it takes two people to be on board with wanting to repair things so that they can build a stronger partnership throughout their years together. It is important to learn from your mistakes, as opposed to ignoring them or repeating them.
- The first thing a couple should prioritize is learning how to listen to each other and respecting one another’s viewpoint.
- Take turns evaluating the concerns that are taking place within your relationship, and then offer a communicated strategy that can better the situation.
- Be open to hearing what your partner has to say and vice versa. No interruptions should be happening during those important times because you both want to be heard and have your feelings validated without criticism.
- You both should be open and willing to rectify an argumentative scenario because you understand that it is not okay to leave things unsaid in your partnership. You comprehend how difficult it is to move forward into a healthy place as a couple when conflicts are not resolved.
Sometimes what your partner doesn’t say speaks volumes!
- When your partner shuts down in this manner there could be some ongoing insecurities they do not want to own, or deal with.
- There could be trust issues within themselves that they won’t say the right thing, so they feel it’s best not to say anything!
- Your partner could also avoid any negative interaction for fear of being ridiculed or have their feelings rejected by what may be said during the argument.
- It could also simply mean they don’t want to deal with conflict of any sort and view it as unnecessary drama!
- They may be somewhat emotionally unavailable and do not have the proper tools to help them handle the problem.
A relationship will always go through difficult stages, therefore resolving conflict is a critical communication skill that every couple needs to learn.
It is always important to honour your partner’s worries because their feelings are just as valid as yours even if you don’t always agree with them. This is where compromise comes into play in every partnership.
It is also wise to pick your battles if there are continuous arguments. This can cause your partner to shut down because they feel that nothing can be said that will prevent dealing with another argument.
You both need to feel heard in your relationship but you also both need to listen to each other’s viewpoint without a defensive reaction.
If the argument is too deep-rooted to fix as a couple, it is always a good idea to bring in a couple’s counsellor.
A professional can offer you the tools to help find a solution or compromise for the problem at hand. Many mistakes are made when communication between a couple is lacking or it is put on the back burner. If you feel you are being ignored by your partner, it can make you lash out or pull back in frustration. This causes a mistrust that can be hard to repair.
Talking to someone who deals with relationship conflict professionally, can not only lessen the amount of disagreements you have in your partnership, but it can prevent them from taking place at all. You learn how to de-escalate a problem immediately before it arises.
Another reason that couples need to interact as a team within the argument, is that the issue should be resolved at the particular time it occurs. Getting to the bottom of what created the disagreement should be discussed at the time it transpired. If things are left unsaid, the same argument may be ongoing throughout your relationship.
Having some of those tough conversations early can prevent repetitive situations because they’re not being ignored. You are both dealing with them together at the time they happen! You are on the same page and care enough to make things right between you!
Some people are triggered very quickly during an argument because they view it as a personal attack.
This is a big reason why there needs to be diplomacy in your delivery when you’re trying to get a message across to your partner. Be very careful that you’re not talking “AT” them. If you take this harsh approach it will make them feel there’s no point in responding because you’ve already got your mind made up about where the argument is going.
Ask your partner to repeat back what they heard you say. Quite often we hear something different from what is being relayed to us. You may also have to work on how you verbalize your message as well. This exercise can help you both communicate maturely with each other when you understand the importance of this.
When you continually walk away from an argument, it gives the impression that you just don’t care what they have to say. It is blatantly dismissive and not a communicative approach to respecting your committed partnership.
We all have different communication styles.
Some people need some time to process what’s going on within an argument and require a few minutes to think about it. If this is you, rather than walk away from your partner in an abrupt manner, gently tell them you need a few minutes to collect your thoughts and you will be back to continue the discussion. This way you are respecting your partner by communicating this and not just turning your back on them.
it is also a really good idea to talk to your partner about things that need addressing, when you’re not in the heat of an argument, but when you’re out for a walk or a cup of coffee together. It is also a wonderful practice to write things down and let your partner read what you have to say if you have trouble communicating your feelings regularly.
Some people are better communicators using the written word. We’re not all built the same way and this also needs to be understood. Always using a gentle approach and taking the time to hear your partner’s comments without judgment, will keep you in a reciprocated communicative place as a couple.
Thank you, Sybersue xo
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