If you are presently in a part-time relationship, are you happy in this setting or do things feel tentative or unbalanced?
Would you like to see them more often, but you feel nervous about bringing this up, due to the fear of scaring them off? Are you sacrificing what you really want in this casual partnership, because you don’t like being alone?
A partnership can mean different things to each individual couple, but the foundation should always be based on reciprocated trust, mutual respect and solid communication. You should both know where you stand and where your relationship is headed.
If you are both happy in a part-time scenario, then that is where you should be. Some couples enjoy having a casual connection without all the expectancies that come with being in a long-term, committed partnership. As long as this is a mutually acknowledged decision, this can work really well, but don’t shortchange your needs if you are not content with this arrangement.
Why setting boundaries and having some expectations is crucial at the beginning of a relationship!
It is important to have some expectations in a new relationship. You want to be respected and to be a priority with the person you love, and you shouldn’t have to settle for a situation or take a back seat to appease them. Having personal boundaries is essential to get the reciprocated love that you desire in your life. The last thing you want is to be in an unbalanced partnership where you are the one doing all the compromising.
If a relationship is going in the right direction in the early stages, you should both be on the same page and comfort zone, with how things are progressing. There aren’t a ton of questions or game-playing when you are in a good place with someone, because you openly communicate your feelings and you want to be with each other.
Red flags usually show up pretty quickly when you are paying attention. Some people ignore these when they are sexually attracted to someone. Chemistry can often take priority over common sense, and before you know it, you are hooked and falling fast for someone you barely know.
If you are always second-guessing where you stand in a new partnership or when you will get together again, this isn’t the right scenario for you. It is important to ask yourself why you would commit to someone who isn’t committed to you.
Photo by RDNE Stock project
A part-time relationship can grow into a committed partnership if you both regularly communicate your needs.
Don’t be afraid to speak up. You have every right to know your partner’s intentions, so don’t be the last to know that they only want a part-time scenario with you. Please don’t pretend you’re OK with this situation if you’re really not happy. Your partner may be content to be in a noncommittal relationship for many years, so be clear about what is important to you. You should know within a 6-9 month time frame if you are both on board with being in a committed partnership.
Dating and relationships can be difficult, but it is knowing when to move on from unhealthy environments, that will bring you closer to finding the love you truly desire. Listening to your instincts will always guide you in the right direction and have your best interest at heart.
Train yourself to listen to your instincts so you don’t end up in repetitive dating scenarios that bring you the same part-time outcome.
Be honest with yourself about what is transpiring in your partnership.
If you find yourself making excuses to your friends and family about why you’re not seeing your partner very often, you may be turning a blind eye to what is going on. It’s one thing not to see them due to a long-distance scenario, but if you’re living in the same area, you need to pay close attention to their actions. Some men and women have the natural ability to charm their way into casual situations, so it is important to be aware of this behaviour, if you are looking for a full-time committed relationship.
If you’re always feeling anxious or fearful that things will end between you both, then unfortunately this partnership is probably only a temporary arrangement. (Or a situationship, as some people like to call it.) Be careful you’re not allowing yourself to be in this position hoping you can change the outcome. If someone tells you in the very beginning that they’re not interested in committing right now, believe them!
If you want a long-term, committed partnership, don’t settle for less.
Please don’t go into any partnership thinking you can eventually change someone’s mindset if they only want to be there part-time. This is where many people get themselves into trouble, hanging around hoping for more of a commitment.
It is so important, to have clarity with what is transpiring early on in a new relationship because you know in your heart when someone is interested, or when they are keeping you at arm’s length! When you respect yourself first, you will be able to see this quickly, and you won’t waste time with someone who isn’t invested in having a committed partnership.
Things flow smoothly when the communication skills are strong. Drama scenarios tend to happen when things are not moving in the right direction. It’s better to take your time meeting someone who’s on the same page as you, rather than waiting around for 2 years hoping to change your partner’s mind about being in a long-term commitment. Sadly, this scenario happens way too often and can leave you repeatedly heartbroken if you don’t understand the importance of removing yourself from this part-time relationship pattern.
Always discuss what is important to you and don’t assume your partner wants the same things, without taking the time to have some of those tougher conversations. It is much better to know sooner, rather than to find out much later, that you and your partner want completely different things in a relationship.
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